I’m going back anyway
Every Tuesday is nerve-racking. After twenty minutes on the elliptical, I take off my shoes and step on the scale. It’s one of the older scales that you manually figure out the number by pushing things back and forth.
This has been my routine for the past six weeks.
In mid-October, my fiancé and I bought a gym membership at the city community center. It’s not a big, fancy gym. Most people there are retired and doing rehabilitation sessions. My fiancé and I are the youngest people there.
In the six weeks, we’ve been there, I’ve lost a grand total of six pounds. I took a picture from the beginning of November until today to see if I could see any difference.
All I saw was I needed to stand closer to the mirror next time. Other than that, I didn’t look any smaller. I didn’t feel any smaller either.
Seeing that picture made my heart sink. I worked so hard to get more active and healthy, but nothing happened. Sure, I lost some pounds, but I wasn’t seeing any differences. My clothes still felt tight, even with a change in diet. It feels like I could’ve done better. But I didn’t.
I refuse to give up, though
This is the beginning. The first time I weighed myself at the gym, I gained three pounds from the week before. I went home crying that day, but I kept coming back to get better. After that day, I dropped at least a pound every week.
I’ve never been that person who’s instantly good at everything we do. I didn’t start Chinese classes speaking fluent Chinese. I still don’t speak fluent Chinese, but I can hold a conversation. But I keep putting myself in situations where I need to use my Chinese to communicate. Even sending messages in Chinese to my friends back in China.
Every skill and every habit takes time to build. If results were instant, more people would be working out, or learning languages, or writing more best sellers.
If anything, seeing those pictures motivated me to work harder to get to where I want to be. I’m not looking for any specific numbers on scales. I know better than to base my health on the scale. I want to go back as soon as possible and work harder on the ellipticals. Run faster on the treadmills. Lift weights so heavy I wake up sore.
I’m excited for the next time I take a gym picture. I don’t see any differences now, but perhaps I’ll see something next time.