My Appetite is a Yappy Monster – With Love, Zach

And I’m trying to shut it up with Crystal Light.

You would think that this whole dieting thing would be easier for me. After all, it’s not like I want to be at my current size.

(This train of thinking leads to an uncomfortable train of thought — because not only do I want to lose this weight, I want to experience life, all of life, as a skinny person. I want to have the middle school/high school/college experience I would have had if I weighed 120 pounds. The prospects, the opportunities, the relationships, the chances, the events, the neural circuitry. I want the whole skinny person life, instead of trying to salvage something out of the wreckage of my three decades of superfatness. But that’s a different monster, to wrestle on a different day.)

But, anyway. I have attached every star of every hope and dream I’ve ever had on someday, someday, someday beating this body down into a reasonable size. One that fits into an airplane seat. One that doesn’t have to walk down a bus sideways. One that doesn’t have to drag oxygen around. One that doesn’t scare people away without saying a single word.

So this pre-surgical regimen should come easily to me. I should be ready and willing. I should be enthusiastic and happy about the whole damn thing.

And, on one level, I am. But on another, more pervasive level, I’m just tired, sad, and hungry.

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Thanks !

Thanks for sharing this, you are awesome !

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