Gyms are important, but if we’re being completely honest, they’re also super awkward. You’re pushing yourself to your physical limits in front of strangers. You get to hear strange grunts of effort in the midst of poorly constructed displays of masculinity and dominance. To top it all off, the place doesn’t exactly smell like a rose garden. Despite all of that, you need to stay in shape. Thankfully, there’s a small change you can make to your life that at least spares you a little of the discomfort of the gym: trim your armpit hair.
But Everyone Stinks at the Gym
There’s some truth to that, but not all stenches are created equally. Some guys smell a whole lot worse than others when they work out. Are you sure you aren’t one of them? Here’s a tip. If you’ve never trimmed your armpit hair, there’s a good chance it’s the reason no one ever works on the equipment right next to you. They aren’t intimidated by your muscles. It’s your aroma that’s creating space.
There’s one more thing to think about here. The gym is often full of fit, attractive females. Now, you don’t want to be that guy who awkwardly and relentlessly hits on women who are just trying to get some exercise. But, if there was a way to get them to approach you, that wouldn’t be such a bad thing. The easiest way to stand out at a gym is to be the guy whose natural musk isn’t physically painful to the noses of these women. They’ll flock towards you out of pure defense. The rest is up to you.
Does Armpit Hair Really Matter?
The first step to solving a problem is understanding it. The short answer is that yes, armpit hair really matters. It holds significant sway over how smelly you get when you sweat. Considering how many of you work out wearing cut off sleeves or tank tops, this is doubly important. You see, there’s a reason we wear deodorant on our pits. It’s biologically perfected for growing the bacteria that create B.O.
Let’s start with the easy stuff. Typically speaking, your armpits are closed and unexposed. Their very physical structure is designed to keep them warmer than most of your outer body. While this is great for keeping your lungs and blood warm, it also leads to your pits being extra sweaty. The only parts of your body that can keep up with the sweatiness of your pits are your chode and your feet. It’s no coincidence that these are the smelliest parts of any man.
You know that sweaty parts of your body smell, but do you really understand why? Is it just that sweat is already gross? That’s partially true. Sweat is more than just salty water. It contains a lot of stuff mixed into it that can include hormones, pheromones, and a number of other chemicals that you naturally produce. You may have noticed that stress-induced sweats smell a lot worse than your standard workout or hot day sweat. That’s because the stress changes the chemical composition of your sweat, and it tends to be stinkier.
The biggest thing you need to understand is the last thing in the list: other chemicals. These chemicals tend to be organic, and that means they are potential food for the bacteria that lives on your skin. Normally, this bacteria is harmless and undetectable. But, if it gets into a feeding and growing frenzy, it can produce its own chemicals. They tend to stink.
All of this is pointing to something specific. You can only do so much to change the composition of your sweat, and it’s going to stink at least a little. If the bacteria make it worse, then maybe that’s a better place to start getting your B.O. under control. Deodorant deals with some of this, but improving your natural defenses will do a whole lot more.
At last, we come to manscaping, and these principles can all apply to your junk too. Armpit hair tends to be dense and long. Basically, it traps sweat when you get warm. If the sweat has the water and food that bacteria need to thrive, then leaving it unchecked is probably not a good way to keep them under control. Simply reducing your armpit hair will enable your sweat to evaporate more quickly. It’s so easy it seems stupid, but this one thing will be enough to reduce your B.O. by as much as 30 percent.
Getting to Work
Ok. You have incentive to smell better than the other guys at the gym (and no, overwhelming cologne is not an appropriate solution). You also understand that simply grooming your pits is enough to get most of that job done. Great. What comes next? You need two things to manage your pits in the best possible way: a hair trimmer and the knowledge to use it. You’re going to have access to both.
Let’s start with the trimmer. The Lawn Mower 2.0 has been carefully engineered by manscaping experts. It’s designed to handle the most sensitive parts of your body in order to give you more control over how you look and smell when you’re naked. If it can safely trim your balls, you know you can trust it for something as easy as your pits. It’s packed with technology that makes trimming easier, faster and safer. Suffice it to say that it’s all you’ll need.
Knowledge takes a little more effort. You have to decide how you’re going to attack your armpit hair. The standard, despite social growth over the last few years, is still for men to have a tuft in their pits. If you go completely smooth there, you have to be able to back it up. In other words, completely shaving your pits smooth is a mistake if you aren’t lean. You’ve probably seen male models who are completely cut have smooth pits, but have you ever spied the flabby guy who’s just gotten back into the gym? The hair distracts from the lack of definition on his body. If your pecs are mushy and your abs aren’t visible, you want to keep a little hair.
You needn’t worry. It’s easy. You’re going to start by attaching the longest cutting guard on your 2.0. With it, give your pits a once over. That’s going to take your tuft from long and disgusting to reasonably managed, and it’s enough to put a serious dent in your workout scent. From this point, you have to make a judgment call. It might be ok to take the hair down a little shorter. It might be time to stop. That’s up to you. If you aren’t sure, get a second opinion before continuing. You can always do more trimming, but if you go too short, it’s going to take a while to grow out of your mistake. If you do go shorter, gradually step down the cutting guards.
Complementing the Trim
Now, some of you are committed to getting a smooth shave. You’ve put in the effort. Getting rid of all the hair is actually going to make your defined body pop. Good for you. Here are some shaving tips (the rest of you can skip ahead to the skin care section).
Once again, this starts with using the right tool. Under no circumstances should you ever use a facial razor on your armpits. First, that’s gross. Your pits grow things that shouldn’t be on your face. You might not like it, but it’s the truth. Second, razors designed for the face are terrible on many parts of your body. Until you’ve shaved your pits, you probably underestimate how tricky they are. It’s easy to get a few nicks and cuts if you just go balls to the wall. You probably also underestimate how sensitive they are. Here’s a tip. Any part of the human body that is notoriously ticklish is super sensitive. It’s not a coincidence.
Now that you’re convinced, you need a Plow. Like The Lawn Mower 2.0, it’s designed for the most delicate parts of your bodies (namely the balls). It can handle your pits. When you shave, use a shaving cream or gel and take your time. The key is to use small, controlled strokes. This is especially important when you’re shaving with your non dominant hand. It’ll be awkward the first few times, but you’ll get the hang of it.
Follow Through With Skin Care
Since we’re talking about smell, there are two things left to learn. Step one: after you trim/shave, you need to shower. You just scraped the outer layer off of your skin. A healthy shower replenishes it and keeps you from developing new funky smells. That shower should include Crop Cleanser. It has a patented formula that will restore health to your skin and help protect you from aggressive bacteria.
Step two is to use deodorant with aluminum. Aluminum is the most powerful antiperspirant out there. A lot of guys don’t like it because it can stain shirts, but that shouldn’t matter for your workout clothes. The aluminum will work in tandem with your grooming, and the combined effect will leave you smelling better than the average slob at your gym.
That’s it for now. If you want any more great life advice, you can find it at Manscaped.com.